The Spaces In Between

It’s been just over four weeks without the constant scroll, the news cycle, or endless streaming options. When Jesse and I started this 40 day scroll detox , I wasn’t exactly sure how it would unfold. I didn’t know what I might miss out on, how being disconnected would feel, and what exactly this silence would sound like.

In the beginning the biggest struggle was resisting the urge to plug in the moment I was disengaged from activity. The times when I would auto-pilot reach for my phone and hit that social media app without even thinking about it.  This almost happened quite a few times diuring my first week or so.  Thank goodness I was signed out of the apps.  Instead, I learned to sit with myself and my thoughts. On day one, this felt like a boring black hole that I didn’t know what to do with.  But over time I realized that within that black hole, which it turns out was anything but black, was filled with immeasurable beauty, unlimited thought, borderless imagination, and brilliant ideas.

In the power of my stillness, I regained an appreciation for my own rhythm of my own thinking again.  

I hate to admit this but, pre-detox, I was absorbed into the common thinking that catching up on my social media news feed was a productive use of time.  As if me spending my time absorbing what ever media wanted to feed me that day was my national duty.  Now that I am away from it, and my life still goes on without it, and the world hasn't stopped, I realize that I was just using this media distraction all as a time filler.

What a sad concept.  To have felt like my life, my mind, and my thoughts didn’t have enough existence to fill my own short time here on earth, that I needed a time filler.  Yet how many millions of people do just that.  We waste our short, precious lives scrambling to not be bored. We fill in every available blank space to avoid our own mental stillness, that we usually call boredom. When we do this we fill in the time where original thoughts, ideas, and creativity are born.  Without this stillness we are merely consumers, force-fed via firehouse to the face of all the information that media wants us to consume. 

This past 30 days have been a revelation in reclaiming my time and my focus. When I unplugged from the incessant data tsunami wave that was drowning me with info of other people’s personal lives, their opinions, and their drama, I rediscovered how to pour into my own goals and relearn what it is I like to do with my time. 

I am no longer giving my energy to distraction. Instead, I have shifted my energy into action of projects, personal goals, journaling, and a heck of a lot of reading. It feels like I have just unbuckled and set down a giant backpack of distractions that I have been carrying around unnecessarily for years.  What a gigantic relief.  

This past 30 days has offered me so much more than what I ever expected it would.  Being unplugged has helped me mentally and emotionally let go of the constant comparison that social media forces on me. I’ve separated myself from the self-fabricated idea that “I should be doing something” or that ; “I’m not doing enough" of something else, based on my social media or news feeds.  Instead, I am choosing my own life.  No filter,  no highlight reel, no suggested "next watch", nothing but real, raw, and authenticity.

I know this sounds deep, but I’m noticing things about myself that I hadn’t realized before, or perhaps, I just forgot about myself. My mind is calm in this new space I have created.  I am more clear, more focused, and so much more productive at my own life. 

One of the best side effects of this detox has been my relationship with Jesse and my kids.  Even though the kids are off to college, we talk regularly, and when we do, it is always without the fear, panic, or stress over something I saw in the media.  My conversations are deeper.  My time spent with loved ones is so much more intentional. 

Jesse and I have spent many of our nights talking about our dreams, listening to music together in complete albums (something I realize now, that I never made time for, but really love), and lots and lots of reading into the night.  Each of us with our own books of our own individual interests, yet together in the lamplight in our cozy quiet space. And we walk together almost everyday, in the woods, around the neighborhood, or up nearby mountains where we can see the view.  It's quiet, connected, and peaceful.

I feel more connected and grounded to my purpose than I have in as long as I can remember.

We’ve got two weeks left in our goal of 40 days without social media, news, or streaming feeds of any kind.  I have already decided that I will continue a lot of my new habits of unplugging, into the rest of my life.  I will need to contribute to social media for the sake of business, but I’m totally done with being tethered to it.  Now that I have experienced the quiet place where my mind can grow, I am never giving that space back to the force-feeding of media.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or just plain disconnected from your life, give unplugging a try. Even if it’s just a few hours a day, I know it can make a difference. Instead, allow your brain to think and grow and be present in the world around you. 

Thank you for tuning in, I appreciate you.

Stacey xoxoxo